As a new father with a son in the 6th grade of elementary school, one day puberty came to my son, who taught me what it means to be the apple of my eye without hurting it.
My son must be confused by the hormonal changes he's experiencing for the first time in his life, but as a first-time father of a teenage son, I'm also at a loss as to what to do. So, I'm going to share my struggles as a new father on my blog.
A father and son like no other in the world
I have a son in sixth grade. We have a unique father-son relationship, a rare sight these days.
When I was young, my father worked in broadcasting, so he was very busy and it was very difficult for him to see his son. My son, who had a hard time seeing his father, always missed his father and time flew by whenever they were together. Even now, he likes playing games with his father the most.
And he is a son who is rarely seen these days, and his happiest moment is sleeping with his dad every night.
“Then one day, my son hit puberty.”
I've experienced puberty as a child, but being the father of a son going through puberty feels like a whole new world. My son, who was once so cute and adorable, suddenly has a beard growing under his nose, and he's become a tiny baby that I can hold in my arms. A young man with a deep voiceThis is how it feels.
Plus, I've been taking a break from work lately, and my son is on vacation, so we're stuck together most of the time. Whenever he catches me glimpsed, I can't help but yell at him.
That's clearly me, and it's something I don't like. For example, wasting time on my phone while lying down after eating, or not being able to organize my belongings and leaving them lying around on the floor—objectively, those are things that are just me.
It's nothing serious, but every time I do, I feel a surge of anger and rage. I thought I'd been holding it together well, but lately, I've been having a hard time controlling my anger.
Every time I lose my temper like that, I end up regretting it. I tell myself, "Everyone's doing great. I shouldn't have said that..." I promise myself I'll never say something so rude again!
Did my father do that to me too?
When I think of my late father, it seems he always gave me appropriate discipline and love. I never felt any anger, resentment, or fear toward him.
Looking back on my childhood, I don't think he was particularly troublesome, but I remember him being quite rebellious during adolescence. I wonder if he could control his anger if he behaved like me?
It's hard to imagine, but I think I need to be as patient as possible with my son's remaining adolescence and treat him rationally.
Dad's promise
- Never yell at your son or get angry.
- Don't scold your son based on emotions.
- Even if you don't understand, think from your son's perspective.
Going forward, I hope this writing will be a place for me to reflect on myself and think from the perspective of my adolescent son.
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